Two States- The Story of "Life After" Marriage

This blog post had been running in my mind since long; especially, after I watched the movie, ‘2 States.’ Though, I thought that I should write a review, but then, it would have been the same as any other review. Hence, I decided to delve into another angle, which I pondered upon while watching the movie.

The movie, which is an adaptation of a novel, ‘2 States- The story of my marriage,’ by Chetan Bhagat, does not need any introduction or conclusion. It very succinctly reflects the basic idea of a love marriage in India. Love marriage, that too, between two people belonging to two different states. As Chetan Bhagat mentioned in the book, and like Arjun Kapoor says in the movie, [What is most important in a marriage?- Love. But In India, marriage is a slightly longer process. It is not only about love between a guy and a girl. But also, the guy’s family has to love the girl; the girl’s family has to love the guy. The guy’s family has to love the girl’s family and vice versa. And, in between, all this, if there is still time left, the guy and the girl can think of loving each other.] This is not a myth but a fact, which Chetan Bhagat had proved long back when he wrote this book.

Now, you must be wondering, what am I trying to convey through this post? Very Simple. I really wish, or rather hope that Chetan Bhagat writes a sequel to this novel, which should be titled ‘2 States- The Story of My Life After Marriage.’ Well, I really won’t mind writing this sequel though, if Chetan Bhagat has his hands tied with work. :-D However, it might become a copyright issue then, which I definitely wouldn’t want to land myself into, through my debut novel. Hence, I thought why not give some guidance or some points to ponder over for Chetan Bhagat, if he enthusiastically decides to write a sequel.

In the book as well as in the movie, we see how Krish and Ananya triumph over all odds to finally land themselves in a happily-married life. The ordeal of getting each other’s parents convinced, the likes and dislikes of each family, the mingling of cultures, rituals and families etc all are finally achieved by the couple. In the process, both of them suffer emotionally and mentally. Despite all the support, love and trust, they do part ways for a while, thinking this will never work out. But, finally, all is well that ends well.

Haven’t any of you ever thought about the post-married life of Krish and Ananya? Why go that far. Look around, am sure we have friends, acquaintances, colleagues, who would have had inter-caste, inter-state, inter-religion marriages. While for some, the road to marriage might have been an easy ride; for others, it wouldn’t have been less than a path full of thorns. And, finally, if all goes well, and you are able to convince right from your great grandfather to the distant cousin of your father/mother/uncle/aunt; you can get married. However, how far does this marriage tantamount to “And-they-lived-happily-ever-after” phase depends. I am not cautioning you or letting you be prejudiced towards love marriage. I am just trying to convey through this post, what a majority of people go through post the marriage, especially if it’s an inter-caste/religion/state marriage.

If you thought, adjustments are to be made only “before” the marriage; then, let me tell you folks! It is not so. Once married this is what all you ‘might’ have to do:
• Adjustments all around- You have to ‘adjust’ to a lot of changes that take place suddenly around you. From your sleeping time, to bathing time, to working time, to eating time; everything changes or has to be ‘adjusted’ according to your in-laws’ schedule.
• Follow the cultures/rituals: Once these minor adjustments are done, arrives adapting yourself to their culture/rituals. This can vary depending on the caste/religion you are married into. While, some in-laws are considerate enough to let you follow the customs/rituals till the extent you can, there might be a few, who would want you to follow each and every step religiously.
• Turn multi-lingual- This is valid in those cases where the wife and the husband belong to different linguistic communities. Be ready to be bombarded with questions like “Oh s/he doesn’t know the language yet? You should make him/her learn the language.’ And, if you fail in your endeavor then that too it’s your fault. “You are to be blamed, since you never speak to him/her in your mother tongue.”
• Know the difference between sarcasm and seriousness- If you can’t differentiate between what’s serious conversation and what’s sarcastic, then what for have you both got married? Even if the sarcasm may sound like a serious conversation, pretend, you are a great exponent of sarcastic conversations.
• Pamper your in-laws as much as you can- This HAS to be the motto of your life. Without this, you may never be able to make an impression on your husband or wife. :-D Remember, “in-laws khush to biwi ya pati bhi khush.’
• Learn to be rational and balanced: Unless, you know what’s right and what’s wrong, you can never project yourself in a better position. In your efforts to convince either your in-laws or your better half, you may lose your way half way. Thus, whoever may be correct, you have to be rational or at least, pretend that you are, in your thinking and approach.
• Whatever be the circumstances, keep your love as it is: This is probably the most important point, post marriage. There will be differences, fights, arguments but in the end, the underlining thought is you got married because the two of you knew that you can be happy together ever after.

While fighting the obstacles, before and after the marriage, often couples forget that they got married because of their love, trust and understanding. If these fade away in trying to prove each other a point or the families a point, what’s the point of getting married?

I am neither an agony aunt nor a well-wisher, but a happily-married girl, who too has gone through similar phases of life, before and after the marriage. We learn each day from our efforts as well as our surroundings. Imbibe yourself with all the positivism you can, so that you do not have to arrive at a face-off position. The fruits will taste sweet if we carefully pluck them from trees.