Tuesday, December 29, 2015

The Year That Was- Part 2

Like they say, we should be grateful to every little thing in our lives. Perhaps, this is the time to be so. With three more days to usher into a new year, we all have hopes, aspirations, to-do lists, schedules, timelines and what not for the coming year. But I guess, it is also the time to sit down, and look back at the year that's about to end. That it will bring back memories- some good, some bad- there is no doubt that it will also help us shape our new year in a better way.

So, while in my earlier post, I talked about how 2015 had been a challenging and adventurous year for me; in this post, I want to be grateful to the little joys that I had this year.

Here's presenting to you the five most beautiful things that happened to me this year and I thank from the bottom of my heart every person who made those beautiful memories happen.

1. The year of blogadda

A junior friend from college seeing my number of blog updates on a regular basis remarked, 'ladki you are soon going to acquire blogadda.' Such was the insanity that had transpired within me. I took part in almost every book review program and contests that blogadda announced. So much so that I even would share my posts for their Tuesdays and Saturdays picks. While two of my posts were part of the Tangy Tuesday Picks, one was part of the weekend prompt- WOW. However, this was limited only to the initial part of the year. As I got engrossed more and more in the job world, I shared less on blogadda and followed less of its activities. Hoping to get back to sharing more on the blogging platform.

The book 
2. The year of becoming a published author

For every writer, there is nothing more fulfilling than becoming a published author. I along with seven other bloggers was part of an activity called- Game of blogs- organised by none other than blogadda. While we were chosen as winners earlier this year, the book titled 6 Degrees was published and launched at WIN 2015, an event of blogadda, in September in Mumbai. I am still basking in the glory of the book launch.

3. The year my son turned one and so did I as a mother

During a photo-shoot for the cover
of a parenting magazine. Not me, but
Ayaan was featured on the cover page
of Parent Circle magazine
This is definitely one of the most special moments of 2015. While it is merely the beginning of many such unforgettable memories to come, the first year is and shall always be special. Seeing your little one grow, from crawling on the floor to running from one end of the house to other; from mere syllables to imitating every word that I speak; from a tiring day at home to some fun-filled moments with grandparents; from celebrating every 'first' to thinking about what the future holds for him; the first year and half of motherhood was emotional yet enriching, was anxious yet fulfilling, was about being traditional yet unorthodox, was about undoing the 'rules' that are liable to you once you become a parent.

Chennai Through My Eyes

4. The year of starting new series on the blog

I started two series on my blog this year. One was #ChennaiThroughMyEyes - a way to talk about city that is my home now from an outsider's perspective. While I have managed to write only three posts up until now in the series, I hope to write some more in the coming year. The second series was #PoetryTrails- a series of poetry written in collaboration with another friend. This too was short lived as my friend got occupied with higher studies abroad. However, I hope to revive it again with her or anyone else who would be interested in it.

5. The year when my blog got a Facebook page and my page views crossed over 16,000 views

In a bid to promote my blog as much as I can with the help of social network, I decided to create a page for all my blog-related activities. In case, you haven't yet visited my Facebook page, here's the LINK to it. While the likes have slowly started to peak in, my page now stands at 177 likes. Hoping that the likes on the page will increase in the new year. This was also the year when my blog crossed over 10,000 views and now stands at somewhere close to 17,000. What can be more endearing than to see your writing being read by people. The blog has become my means to connect with the world and show my writing. Hoping that you as a reader would continue to shower your love on me in the new year as well.

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Monday, December 28, 2015

The Year That Was - Part I

Not sure whether all of you have read my first post of the year- here is what I began my blog with this 2015. Incidentally, it was written on the very first day of the new year and happened to be picked by Blogadda as their Tangy Tuesday Picks. I am glad that out of everything written in the post, I held on to one thing at least- being active on the blog. Here I stand now, with the 70th post of the year that is about to bid goodbye in three more days.


Going by the number of blogposts being written by fellow bloggers on how the year 2015 was for them and what do they foresee for the new year, I couldn't have kept myself away from doing the same. As I write this post, I am not even sure how to comment about this year. From what I can see, when I look back, is that the year has been challenging in its own way. It has given me several signs which I overlooked or may be refused to accept. And, it is only now that I realise had I understood those signs well earlier, I would've saved myself the emotional agony.

Of the 10 things that I wrote in the first blog post of the year, I have followed only four religiously. A challenging year that this was, it taught me the most important lesson that you learn as you become a parent- Your child is ONLY your responsibility and no one else can/would/shall/should care for it. As a parent, it was extremely tough for me and my husband to balance things back home and at work. To tell you honestly, I got three extremely good job offers in decent organisations but while I had to quit two of them due to lack of support system, one job just ruined my happiness to an extent that it became difficult for me to trust any employer. And, just when I thought things were falling in place with another new offer in hand, fate decided to play yet another dirty game. I realised all organisations are same from within despite how good they try to portray themselves to their employees.

I was so exhausted by the end of this job saga that I literally ran away from the city to be with my family and friends. With the hope that I wouldn't have to come back again, I assumed I will be able to live away from this city and the agony it caused me this year. But I was wrong. The natural disaster that the city had to go through in December pulled me back and the fact that I had got used to this city, while the city that I called home seemed alien and less welcoming.


And, then came welcome change.

Something that had been happening ever since I tried taking a plunge into a full-time job. I managed to grab some good work from home offers. While the work is in progress for the projects, and it is too hard to convince my mind until I receive the pay for it in my bank account, I have decided to stay put. From no longer looking for a baby-sitter to hunting for job opportunities any more, I have decided to finally give my mind some peace with whatever little I have and whatever I am aiming for myself in the new year.

I don't know what will be the end result but I am hoping for the best. That 2015 had been quite adventurous and challenging enough, 2016 needs to be a little calm and more in line with my thoughts. Whether I will have a bucket-list for 2016 or not, I ain't sure yet. All I can say at the moment - as someone wise said to me is that - things can only get better from here.

In a two part series, I present to you how this year was for me inside out. If you have anything to share, please leave a comment below, I will be more than happy to read :)

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Thursday, December 24, 2015

A world of my own

I want to close my eyes
and slip into a world of my own,
where there'd be no war of words,
no ego clashes or street fights
no hurry to finish tasks
no one to bother with a stick on the head.

I want to be in a world of my own
with a space only for positive thoughts
with no space for lousy creatures and selfish souls
a world that'd thrive on love, care, and human touch
where there'd be no mobile phones
or social network.

I am looking for that world wherein
I would be myself than pretend
I would laugh till my stomach hurt
I would love with all my heart n soul
I would not be in my dreams
but seep in the reality.

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Wednesday, December 23, 2015

What is love?

What is love?
A silent way to silence your inner self
A turbulence in your peaceful mind
A crack that's tough to mend
An affair that leaves you sleepless
A rose that pretends to have fragrance
A flower that dries up before it blossoms
An ache that's too painful to undergo medication
A blind passion that turns you deaf and dumb
Love is nothing but a mere infatuation
Too hard to ignore, harder to hold on to
Love is a feeling that disappears
as suddenly as it had appeared
Like a gas balloon left loose
Love is meant to be a passionate endeavor
An enchanting experience in the mundane lives
It is nothing but
a glass that cracks in one touch
a thorn that pricks deep inside
a fire that burns you down never to revive
a void that you cannot avoid
a memory that's etched too deep
a lesson that life reminds you
every single day that you lead...

The Wintry Night

The night that was so wintry
The cold breeze brushed aside my hair
I looked around and saw a few
Comforting each other
With an embrace that I longed for
Then and there from you
From your body, your warmth
I tried embracing myself alone
Tears welled up in my eyes
Noticing a bystander staring at me
I pretended to feel cold
The bystander smiled as if
He understood what I faked
Putting his palm out in the cold air
He turned around, and walked
Taking out his white walking stick
A woman walked past and held his hand
I stood their watching as the two
Embraced in the comfort of that night
I stood their watching as the two
Disappeared into the dark wintry night.


Darkness, you're amazing
You let people do
Whatever they want
Whatever they couldn't
In the presence of light..
You let them cry and whine
You let them love and moan
You let them argue and abuse
You let them hurt and scream
You let them shy and meek...
You fill the void in them
You let them be themselves
It's in your shadows
They find their real selves
And, hence draw the curtains
As light makes way for itself.

What's on your mind?

The poem was written sometime back on my Facebook Page

What's on your mind?
Facebook asks,
Does it really matter to you?
For all that you can do
Is get me mere likes and comments
But can you fetch me
What I have been longing for?
A tranquil mind
A serene nature
Some love, some peace
No anger, no frustration
A pinch of happiness
Loaded with affection
Little more than a hug
Little less than suffocation
Just the thought of being loved
Nothing but just plain love
Nothing but just being me
Nothing but just me.

To be in sync with the new year

It's been more than two months since I visited my blog. Not that I did not have anything to write. Just that it was that lazy moment that stuck on to me for too long. I however, penned down a few lines on my Facebook page. I shall be sharing them here too in the subsequent blog posts.

Today, I had almost made plans of getting down to write in a notebook with a pencil, just to ensure that those lines make way to my blog post soon. But I couldn't resist the temptation of typing on my laptop after ages. Strange as it may sound, for the past couple of months, I had been posting my blogs mainly through the laptops I got for official purpose. I don't know where this post will head towards the end, but I assure you it will give you a heads up about where I had disappeared with my blog for this long.

In the two months that I was away from the blog, I went through a turmoil in my mind and heart. I was taken aback by my pessimism, my unwillingness to accept things how they are; I felt lost somewhere in the middle. I couldn't recollect the strength to forgive, forget and move on. Despite the love and support of my husband, the smile and charm of my little angel, I couldn't come to terms with the failure that I was witnessing in front of my eyes.

Thus, I ran away to be with my loved ones. I ran away from the mad woman that my current city (Chennai) had turned me into. I loathed myself for being so low on confidence. Whoever I told the reason of coming to be with my family and friends, everyone told me how not to think about the bad times and how things will only get better from now. But there I was, stuck in the same thoughts, unable to forgo the ugly times that had just flown by in the last couple of months. To some, they might seem mere opportunities that went awry, but to me, they seemed like an indication. They seemed to convey some message that I couldn't fathom or may be refused to accept.

It took me a long while to come to terms with the circumstances. Not that I have fully accepted the things as they are, nor I wish to give it up so soon. I am simply taking another plunge. This time, a little slow yet steady. The conflict, however, has refused to die down. My decision-making skills are in question too. I am hoping that unlike the year that's about to end, the new year will have something good in store for me. I know we all pray for the same every year, but this time, I am desperately hoping that the new year won't disappoint me and I will ensure that I do whatever it takes to let the new year be in sync with myself.