To be in sync with the new year

It's been more than two months since I visited my blog. Not that I did not have anything to write. Just that it was that lazy moment that stuck on to me for too long. I however, penned down a few lines on my Facebook page. I shall be sharing them here too in the subsequent blog posts.

Today, I had almost made plans of getting down to write in a notebook with a pencil, just to ensure that those lines make way to my blog post soon. But I couldn't resist the temptation of typing on my laptop after ages. Strange as it may sound, for the past couple of months, I had been posting my blogs mainly through the laptops I got for official purpose. I don't know where this post will head towards the end, but I assure you it will give you a heads up about where I had disappeared with my blog for this long.

In the two months that I was away from the blog, I went through a turmoil in my mind and heart. I was taken aback by my pessimism, my unwillingness to accept things how they are; I felt lost somewhere in the middle. I couldn't recollect the strength to forgive, forget and move on. Despite the love and support of my husband, the smile and charm of my little angel, I couldn't come to terms with the failure that I was witnessing in front of my eyes.

Thus, I ran away to be with my loved ones. I ran away from the mad woman that my current city (Chennai) had turned me into. I loathed myself for being so low on confidence. Whoever I told the reason of coming to be with my family and friends, everyone told me how not to think about the bad times and how things will only get better from now. But there I was, stuck in the same thoughts, unable to forgo the ugly times that had just flown by in the last couple of months. To some, they might seem mere opportunities that went awry, but to me, they seemed like an indication. They seemed to convey some message that I couldn't fathom or may be refused to accept.

It took me a long while to come to terms with the circumstances. Not that I have fully accepted the things as they are, nor I wish to give it up so soon. I am simply taking another plunge. This time, a little slow yet steady. The conflict, however, has refused to die down. My decision-making skills are in question too. I am hoping that unlike the year that's about to end, the new year will have something good in store for me. I know we all pray for the same every year, but this time, I am desperately hoping that the new year won't disappoint me and I will ensure that I do whatever it takes to let the new year be in sync with myself.

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